top of page

Unmasking Masculinity: The Hidden Struggles of Men's Mental Health

Updated: Jun 20


Boy playing football
Men, rather than seeking help, are preoccupied with avoiding or escaping failure, incompetence, weakness, insignificance, or the perception of such. This quartet of fear plagues all men, but for men with mental health issues, they can be amplified, making it more difficult to seek help.

Mental health is an important component of a person's overall well-being because it affects their daily lives, relationships, and physical health. This fact is frequently overlooked when discussing men's health. It is critical to prioritize men's mental wellness in order to ensure that they receive the support and care they require to live healthy and fulfilling lives. The challenges of men's mental health are becoming more recognized, but outdated and oppressive gender norms and expectations that discourage emotional vulnerability and seeking professional help must be challenged and dismantled. This article delves into the nuances of men's mental health, the impact of societal expectations, the importance of seeking professional help, and the benefits of male therapists in assisting men on their journey to improved well-being.


The Quartet of Fear: How Societal Pressure Hinders Men's Mental Health Journey

Throughout history, men have been conditioned to suppress their emotions. The pressure placed on men, as well as the pressure that men place on themselves, to keep their feelings in check and keep going has resulted in a society of emotionally hollow men seeking answers to questions they don't know how to ask. The indoctrination starts early. Go to any local little league game and you’ll find a field of miniature men armed with helmets, jerseys, and shoulder pads. We cheer them on for defeating their opponents, for hitting hard, for taking hits, and for getting back up. Bravery, fearlessness, and winning are rewarded. We teach our boys to wear armor and be conquering champions in the world. But what happens when life presents inevitable losses? Boys aren’t acculturated to handle loss, and men are ill-prepared when they suffer emotional injury. As a result, we have a society of external warriors disguising emotional weakness with conquests. Men, rather than seeking help, are preoccupied with avoiding or escaping failure, incompetence, weakness, insignificance, or the perception of such. This quartet of fear plagues all men, but for men with mental health issues, they can be amplified, making it more difficult to seek help. For instance, a man experiencing depression might feel embarrassed or ashamed about going to therapy, especially if he feels like he should "man up" and handle his emotions on his own. This might make the depression worse, leading to worse symptoms and a lower standard of living.


Escaping the Cycle of Shame: Destructive Coping Mechanisms and Societal Pressures

The inability to keep one's job and support one's family is interpreted as incompetence by some men. Even though everyone encounters obstacles on the road to success, for some, the obstacles come to define them and their self-worth. The majority of men are so afraid of appearing weak that they never show any signs of weakness. This provides a fertile environment for shame to grow and manifest itself in destructive behaviors. Men will engage in self-destructive behaviors to cope with anxiety, self-doubt, and shame. This cycle often starts in adolescence, when the skills to understand and regulate our emotions are undeveloped. Self-destructive behaviors such as drinking alcohol, taking drugs, binge eating, and engaging in sexual activities produce chemical changes that override anxiety and soothe the troubled mind. For young men, these behaviors are often supported and encouraged by their peers, and these learned coping strategies follow them well into the later stages of life.


Unmasking Vulnerability: The Temptation of Controversial Guidance

Men's mental health is in no way simple. It is a complex and multifaceted issue that requires a nuanced approach. Men are often left feeling inadequate and ashamed because of the societal pressure to conform to unrealistic standards. Men in emotional turmoil are more likely to seek out controversial guidance or insidious viewpoints. Provocative advice givers frequently present their points of view in a bold and assertive manner, which can appeal to men who are emotionally vulnerable or uncertain. To the misunderstood, challenging societal norms or providing unconventional perspectives conveys a sense of belonging or understanding. Men battling emotional distress, for instance, may be more likely to seek out online communities or personalities that promote a hyper-masculine, anti-establishment, or misogynistic message. These sources provide a temporary sense of empowerment but ultimately exacerbate feelings of isolation and shame by reinforcing outdated and oppressive gender norms and expectations and dismissing the benefits of seeking professional help. Therefore, it is crucial to challenge and dismantle these gender expectations that discourage emotional vulnerability and seeking help for mental health concerns.


Gendered Experiences: Men's Mental Health Symptoms and Challenges

Men and women may have different experiences with mental health due to a combination of biological, psychological, and sociocultural factors. Men are socialized to suppress their emotions. This is done through a number of societal and cultural mechanisms, such as traditional gender roles, upbringing and parental influence, peer pressure, media and popular culture, cultural narratives, fear of emasculation, and a lack of emotional education. These factors can vary across cultures and communities, but collectively they contribute to the socialization of men to suppress their emotions. Men are often taught to be tough and unfeeling, which can lead to mental health problems going unreported or misdiagnosed. Women may be encouraged to express their emotions more openly, leading to increased help and diagnosis. When dealing with mental health issues, men may exhibit symptoms differently. Depression, one of the most prevalent mental health issues, may manifest differently in men than women. It's not uncommon for men to hide their sadness or despair behind outward manifestations of anger, irritability, or physical complaints.


Cultivating Emotional Well-Being: The Importance of Seeking Professional Help and Male Therapists

Men should be encouraged to prioritize their emotional health and seek professional assistance when necessary, as opposed to relying on potentially harmful information sources. By cultivating a culture that values emotional intelligence and empathy, we can create a cohesive and cooperative society. For this reason, there are benefits to male therapists working with male clients. Male therapists can provide a judgment- and ridicule-free environment for men to explore their emotions and vulnerabilities. In addition, they can provide unique insights into the male experience, assisting clients in navigating issues related to masculinity, relationships, and career success. Although the selection of a therapist should not be based solely on gender, male therapists can provide a safe space for men to discuss their emotions without their usual fears. In addition, male therapists can demonstrate to their male clients that seeking help is a courageous act and not a sign of weakness.

In conclusion, men's mental health is frequently disregarded due to the demands of conventional culture. Many men suffer in silence and turn to self-destructive coping mechanisms because traditional gender norms discourage them from showing emotional vulnerability or seeking professional help. It's important for men to know that they can put their emotional health first and ask for help without being judged as weak. Promoting a culture of emotional intelligence and empathy is crucial, and male therapists can provide a safe space for men to do so as they deal with issues of masculinity, relationships, and professional success. Men's mental health should be prioritized for the sake of both men and society as a whole in order to break down barriers and encourage the development of more positive ideas of masculinity.

A reflective look inward

  1. How has societal pressure to conform to traditional masculine norms affected your ability to express and seek help for your emotions?

  2. Have you ever felt ashamed or embarrassed about seeking professional help for your mental health? If so, what were the underlying beliefs or expectations that contributed to those feelings?

  3. In what ways have you observed or experienced the suppression of emotions among men in your life, and how has it impacted their mental well-being?

  4. Can you identify any self-destructive behaviors or coping mechanisms that you or other men may have engaged in to deal with emotional distress? How did these behaviors provide temporary relief or soothe your troubled mind?

  5. How have societal expectations and gender norms influenced your understanding of masculinity and the way you navigate relationships, career success, and personal growth?

  6. Have you ever been drawn to controversial guidance or viewpoints that seemed to challenge societal norms around masculinity? If so, what motivated that attraction, and how did it impact your mental and emotional well-being?

  7. How have you personally experienced or observed the manifestation of mental health symptoms in men, such as depression or anxiety, and how do they differ from traditional stereotypes?

  8. Reflecting on your own experiences, do you feel comfortable expressing vulnerability and seeking professional help? If not, what factors contribute to that discomfort?

  9. How can you cultivate emotional intelligence and empathy within your own life and relationships to promote a healthier understanding of masculinity and mental health?

  10. If you were to seek professional help for your mental well-being, what qualities or attributes would you value in a therapist? Would gender play a role in your preference, and if so, why?

What are your views on this? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.



19 views0 comments
bottom of page